Sitting in the living room, I hear cries of terror come from the bird room. It’s not unusual for my cockatoo to sound the alarm. Whether it is to let us know it’s bedtime, that it’s time to get up, that one of the other birds is in his space, or that a green toy has made it into his collection unbeknownst to him, he lets us, and anyone within a quarter-mile radius, know about it.
This time, his TV show of nature views and relaxing spa music went to a commercial, and two strangers were in his space. At first, this seems funny because you and I know it is just people on a screen, but he can’t tell the difference, so in his mind, these men are a threat. They are coming for him. And probably us too. Cockatoo alert system engaged.
I use this particular parrot as an example because he is the most expressive of my flock. He wears every emotion proudly, like the crest of feathers on his head. Learning his concerns and preferences has helped me understand everyone else in the flock better, too. They learn routine with precision, are extremely sensitive to change, and thrive on repetition. A bit like me.
While I may not scream and flap my wings, if my routine gets disrupted, or a surprise stressor appears, it can throw me off. But one thing I don’t do is try to alert everyone around me.
Talking my bird down from hysteria for several years now, I have, by default, sharpened my self-talk skills. There’s something about telling someone else that everything is ok, that makes things feel ok.
Like my bird, I have certain areas that get triggered more easily than others. But with myself, I have hope. I am not sure he will ever be able to handle strangers popping up in his room on the TV, but witnessing his seemingly irrational fears shines a light on my own.
My bird may learn to recognize the guys in this specific commercial, but if a new commercial gets thrown in the mix or they use different actors, he’s back at square one.
I may not like strangers popping up in my room either, but I can learn that they aren’t real, and even if they look different, that lesson doesn’t change.
Written 7.9.26
