Against all odds… We’ve all heard it in one form or another. In love songs, in conversations spanning various topics, but I’m talking about love here.
According to statistics my marriage is more likely to fail than not.
We are American. 50% chance of divorce.
We live in a ”red” state. 27% more likely to divorce.
Both of our parents divorced and remarried. 91% more likely to divorce.
My husband is 13 years younger than me. 53% more likely to divorce.
This is my second marriage. 67% more likely to divorce.
All of that looks scary. Really scary. Especially since it’s my second marriage but the age gap has always been my biggest concern.
I’ve always said I wouldn’t be a statistic. I would be my own person and regardless of what the numbers say, I will make it no matter what I’m trying to do. And I will.
I’ve never done anything the traditional way and I’m not afraid of a challenge, but I have to admit when we first started talking about marriage, my faith in myself and relationships had been severely shaken and those numbers up there didn’t make me feel any better.
I still worry sometimes but I remind myself that worrying about something won’t make it less likely to happen. If it’s going to happen, it’s going to happen but I won’t go down without a fight. Or maybe I will. I’m older now and let’s just be honest, I’m tired.
But that’s another bonus. He is much younger than me and he loves me something fierce. If he were any other man I would probably worry but because of who he is and how stubborn he is in his love for me, I think even if I’m too tired to fight, he will hold us together when I can’t.
I can’t count how many times he has dropped everything to come to be with me and refused to leave my side until he was sure we had worked through whatever issue we might be dealing with. This is rare.
I know this now and it still blows my mind every time he does it. He never runs away from me or wants to be away from me. I’m not used to that in a man but I absolutely adore it and appreciate it more than he probably knows.
Our age difference hasn’t been a problem so far so maybe it never will be. If anything it’s been a positive.
He has the energy to take care of things when I feel like I have nothing left in me to give. I have the life experience to help us skip some of the things most couples have to go through, and he has the wisdom and maturity to recognize that.
It’s nice to be able to talk to someone as an equal and recognize that even though you may not fully understand and you come from different places (generations/decades) you trust that person enough to believe they are pointing you in the right direction.
We do this for each other. I may be the older one in this relationship but I can be pretty naive to some things socially and his knowledge of the world and how people can be helps me in certain situations where I might be taken advantage of. I help him make sure he’s getting the best interest rates and that his hair looks decent.
Regardless of my mental tiredness and of the numbers stacked against us, I can’t help but believe we are different. We will make it. Against all odds…
Now I just need to get him to act like the 20-something that he is and take me dancing.
Written 2.20.19